talk about mental illness

My cousin has a blog designed to talk about mental illness, especially bipolar disorder. She has recently been diagnosed with bipo and she shares her story here. It's really interesting! Her blog is designed to talk openly about mental illness and destroy any misconceptions that people have. You should check it out and read her story. http://halfbeautiful.blogspot.com
She would love some more followers in order to get the word out, so to speak. She has a natural gift for words which makes this a beautifully crafted read. You'll be missing out if you don't check it out!

Some of you may or may not know about my struggle with depression. When Curtis went to Iraq just two months after we got married, I got caught up in a whirlwind of emotions that nearly destroyed me. I learned to suppress them, therefore becoming almost robotic and ultimately depressed. Pretty much the day he got home I got pregnant with Xander. Without a chance to deal with my emotions before being pumped full of hormones, I was doomed for disaster. Instead of all the physical discomforts associated with pregnancy, I got stuck with the mental symptoms. I suffered pre-natal depression throughout my pregnancy. I was so depressed that I stayed in bed a lot. Curtis and I has some pretty messy arguments that resulted in lots of pain on his part. I was a horrible mess and even stopped eating for days at a time. By the end of my pregnancy I began to stabilize as my doctor and I found a correct dosage of antidepressants.

Then the day came when I gave birth to Xander. Anyone who has given birth knows how exhausting a whole day of labor can be and how hormones and emotions run high afterwards. Well, combine that with suddenly going off your antidepressants! I was in the hospital for 2 days (we forgot my meds at home) and since my routine was out of whack because I was hospitalized, we completely forgot about them until the symptoms all came back. I had the worst episode right there in the hospital. The nurses we pretty freaked out. They called in the hospital psychologist. He pretty much admitted me to a mental hospital immediately.

It absolutely broke my heart not to be able to go home with my newborn baby. And the hospital was a horrible place. They take away all your personal belongings (even your shoe laces to keep all the patients from committing suicide.) You have to ask for everything. Even for soap to wash your hands; after which they come out from behind the glass to unlock a giant cabinet to give you the smallest little bottle of hand soap. There were so many other traumatic memories of that place, but I don't want to get into them right now. Basically I spent the weekend there until my medications could stabilize me and I could convince them I was safe to go home. They finally allowed me to go home after I set up an appointment with a counselor "on the other side" and promised to go to counseling.

The counseling worked really well and soon I was able to go completely off my medication. I live a normal life now, however I'll never forget what I learned from this experience. Every time I see myself slipping back into depression, I use the techniques and skills the counselor and my books taught me. I am determined not to go back to that low ever again. I was scared to death that I would when I found out I was pregnant with my second child. However, I lucked out and just got the morning sickness and other physical symptoms instead.

After my experience, I empathize with those suffering mental illness. When it's serious enough, it is possible for chemicals in the brain to imbalance and make it impossible to fix without medication. Mental illness is not just "all in your head" so to speak. It is not like you can just choose to be happy. It can be really messy and unpleasant. I believe everyone knows someone who has mental illness or someone who has dealt with depression at some point in their life. It's more common that people think. What is your story?